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Uni life

Weekly Uni Deal

Weekly Uni Deal

I’ve thought long and hard about what to pick for the inaugural “Uni Deal of the Week,” and I think you’ll be pretty stoked with what I’ve found.

Deal: All you can eat Buffalo Wings.

Location: University of Melbourne, The Corkman (Irish Pub)

Time: Friday afternoon/evening, weekly.

There’s an old saying, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. I am a firm believer in this life approach. Today, I was proven wrong.

You know that feeling you get when someone tells you about a good deal? $2 big mac? $25 bottle of vodka? It gets you excited. Like, Ari Gold with a paintball gun excited.


Someone told me today that I could go down to The Corkman (University of Melbourne) on a Friday night and receive a “shit load of buffalo wings” for $15. Yep, $15 all you can eat Buffalo Wings on Friday. But it doesn’t end there… Read on for the ludicrous story.

Here’s how it went down:

“And what exactly constitutes a “shit-load”, might I ask?”
“All you can eat.”

That feeling I was talking about was starting to creep up on me. As Leo from Django would preach, they had my curiosity, but now they have my attention. The phrase “all-you-can-eat” gets thrown around a lot. I like to take it literally, so I pressed further.

“You’re saying I can literally keep eating until I can’t eat any more?”
“Yep.”

This confirmation gave me the full wave of excitement. The thought of eating myself into a near-coma state for such a bargain was quite overwhelming. As if it weren’t enough, this bearer of good news didn’t stop there.

“But it’s not actually $15, it’s only a few bucks if you go with a people”

The confused look on my face obviously painted my justifiable confusion. They repeated,

“yeah it’s $15 per table, all you can eat Buffalo wings.”

Now I was pissed off. The prophet was a phoney. That’s not economically feasible in any land within three planets of us. They had brought me up a like a buttercup just to drive me into the ground. This vagabond was trolling me. The conversation went on, but they didn’t back down, keeping a straight face the whole time.

I don’t like to be made a fool of so I stepped away from the argument and decided I would just find out for myself. Only issue was it was a Monday and that meant that Friday was 1… 2… way too many days away. This torture couldn’t possibly be endured for that long. The next day I was walking past the Corkman and I decided to go in to suss it out.

THE RUMOUR IS TRUE!

I have official confirmation from the manager! I delved into the potential ground rules of such an agreement and there weren’t any upsetting “catch 22’s”. He said that a table usually constitutes about 4 people, and the most they will bring out is about 10 bowls. I’ve heard the bowls are a decent size as well. Now I said that I take the meaning of “all-you-can-eat” literally, and I think this satisfies it. Even if all 4 table constituents haven’t eaten in 6 weeks, this helping of Buffalo wings is surely satisfactory.

Looks like I know what I’m doing this Friday!

Has anyone else partaken in the Corkman’s gluttonous bargain?

Matt Perrott

@pez_ltd

Image:, Flickr Creative Commons License

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